I was born 4 days past my due date on a rainy Saturday afternoon, in January. My mom said it was 60 degrees outside, that it was an Indian Summer. I weighed 9 pounds and 5 ounces and I remember my mom telling the story that at my first feeding, I sucked down 4 ounces of formula. I really did not appreciate how much that was until my sister had her baby and when he drank 1 ounce and the nurse all told me sister how good that was. But I drank 4 ounces! This was 4 times more than most babies drink at their first feeding.
I weighted 110 at age 10. I know this because my mother was given a little booklet at my first doctor’s visit to record my vaccines and my height and weight at various stages of my life. She gave the book to me when I left home at age 19. I always wore 1 size bigger than my older sister. She was in a size 6 and I wore 6x. I didn’t know it at the time, but 6x is just a size, but I thought the x meant the same as plus size today. After being a 6x, I wore husky or chubby sized clothes. Back then, my mom and grandmother used to special order my clothes from a catalog. But looking back at pictures from that time, I really wasn’t that big. I was the same height as my sister who was 1 ½ years older than me and I was just a little “thicker” in the waist, arms and legs. And my sister was always small for her age. As an adult, she is only 4' 11" tall!. I'm 5' 4".
By the time I was in the 4th grade, I was wearing a women’s size 7 shoe. My mom was able to buy me a pair of sneakers for gym, but was not able to find me a pair of shoes that was appropriate for a little girl. At that time, it was not cool for girls to wear sneakers. Sneakers were for gym class only, but my mom would not buy me a pair of “heals”. (my mom hated to shop, we would go to 1 or 2 stores and if she didn’t find what she wanted, then we got nothing.) So I was the fat girls in sneakers. I also had glasses, so that set me apart as well.
It was about this time that the name calling started. I remember being call “Thunder Thighs”, Fatty, or whale. I was the last to be picked for teams in gym class. Maybe I would like sports and exercise today, if the teacher would have just divided the class up for teams for gym. I still believe that I can’t do sports, because picked last. Nobody would play with me on the playground either because they didn't like fat kids or were afraid that if they played with me, they would get teased too. Kids assumed that I was "less than" because I was fat.
Goal for today. Think about and try to change beliefs about self that I am bad at sports/ physical exercise. Look at past experiences surrounding playing sports, and / or participating in gym as a child, and know that I was not necessarily bad at sports, but never really was given the chance to participate due to other’s views of me/ people overweight. What sports do I like? What sports/physical activities have I participated in, that I was somewhat good at? What sport, or activity would like to pursue as a person who has had WLS?
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